夕阳无限好。。。

Thank you, Lord for you grace and mercy.

I could not imagine that I was so well concentrated for today’s lectures as I am so tired recently. Right now, my feeling of stress is getting better. Now, hoping that things will go smoothly for the next few days before my ‘holiday’.

Okay.Hmm..let me see which stories I one to share here. Lots of stories today as my mum told me quite a few this morning. There is a theme for all these stories, i.e. God’s characters and his plan.

Since 2009, I have been praying for my grandparents, uncles and aunts so that one day our relationships will reconcile. My mum told me this morning, Auntie Xiu Yan  kept on telling her not to be quibble over them anymore. Also, Auntie Cindy is suggesting my mum to get a hamper and send it to them. However, my mum’s sister is not willing to give the hamper on behalf of my mum. My mum was thinking whether or not there is delivery service for shops which sell hamper. There is no ending for this conversation. However, in my heart, I knew that God is starting to work in my family, especially to reconcile the relationships. I am thinking to suggest my mum if she is not dare to send it directly to them, why not try courier service.

Next story, again, my mum found out that my uncle involves in selling drug. I really can’t imagine what will be going on in his family in the future.  My mum did advised my aunt (the wife) to be prepared that one day he might being caught or even loss everything that she has now. But, my aunt takes the advices for granted. I really praying that one day my aunt and her family, my grandparents, etc will turn to Christ.

Again, another story of my family. Another person who I need to pray for is my aunt. She is not the same person as I mentioned above. I wish I can understand her more one day.(That’s why I choose to study Psychology so that I can understand people behavior. ) I don’t understand why she is involving herself too much in my family. I know that she is caring for us. But, her love has made us doesn’t like to spend time with her anymore; her love has made us feel she is so annoying. I do suggest to my mum that they need to have a chat on this issue. At the same time, we do realize that discussion will not have a happy ending if she still thinks that she is right. Will this CNY be a happy moment for all of us.

Lots of stories about my family today. There are still lots of characters who I have not mentioned here. One thing that I really hope for everyone is FOCUS on JESUS. Life focusing on other aspects will just make things worse. To be honest, I am still learning to focus on Jesus. No one is perfect in this world. Life without focusing on Jesus does not only destroy your life, but also influence people who you love. I have too many examples in my life already and I do not wish same incidents occur in my relatives and friends again.

Lord, please let me know what do you want from me. How can I help my relatives, my friends and people who are in need?

I have been not sleeping well since last week and it will be continued throughout this week. Last night, I only slept for 5 hours, where I went to bed at 10pm and woke up at 3am this morning. My ideas on writing my lab report are jammed for these two days. Till now, 8.15pm, I still could not finish my discussion part. I have been working since this morning till now (in between break for meals) for just doing on my introduction and discussion. This is my first time where I am stuck for such a long hours.

In the next few days, I just could not guarantee on my Cell Biology test’s performance, seminar essay, Statistics’ mock exams, my energy and concentration level.

It is a busy times before my CNY break.

Something amazing happened yesterday. I did not expect that we will have such conversation in the beginning, but God is so powerful and amazing and just let thing happened.

Basically, what happened was I had a two hours chat with my Singaporean flatmate after the dialogue supper session ended. The conversation started with I asked him about his feelings on this session. After that, he started to share with him his thought on his own life. He is a person who enjoys and search for instant gratification. He does not border about what happen in the future, to the state that he will not regret if he goes to hell as long as he has enjoyed his life to the fullest. At that point, I felt so sad for him because he choose to give up an eternal happiness and promises for the instant gratification. I am not sure whether such thoughts are also part of you. I told him that with God, you not only can get the happiness you want it now, but also a promise for future happiness. Think about it, rather than getting a set of happiness, you will get two sets of happiness when you believe in God.You have two roads in front of you. Which one will you choose?

People might argue that how true is the future happiness, joy etc. I would say all these promises are in the bible. At the same time, you can also question how true is it the words in the bible. What I can say is bible is a historical evidence. You can believe the historical evidence of some famous people in the past like Astriocrats, why you cannot believe bible?Some people questions about the resurrection of Jesus. They argued that there was a backdoor for the disciples to steal Jesus’ body away. However, research has been found that there wasn’t no backdoor or any other sort of reasons and indeed Jesus has rose from death.

I heard from a speaker saying about this. If your heart choose to not to believe, in a way that you choose not to open you eyes and see, your ears to listen and your heart, you  will always find different reason to against the facts in front of you.

At the end, I challenged my flatmate to actually choose the way where you get two sets of happiness. There were lots of things in our conversation, but I just could not share every single things here.

In our life, sometimes we might have too stubborn in certain things or what we hope for and what we running for will not last long. Right now, you might think that money is the most important thing in your life. But, what is the point that when you die, you could not carry this money with you. You might argue that it is not a matter as long as I am satisfy with my life now. Thinking about your future, about the death, are you really sure that you are not afraid of it. Are you sure that when death is in front of you, you can actually face it easily. To be honest, NO. I have a friend who share with me this issue before. She told me that when she was 11 years old, she almost died. She had a severe headache that time and she was resting. When she was resting, her parents decided to bring her to the hospital. The next day when she woke up, her mum told her that she had just undergone a major brain surgery. The doctor told her parents that if she was sent to the hospital late by a few hours, right now she won’t be in this world. At that point, she knew that Jesus has offered her a second life.

The same thing also happened to me. People surrounding me might now that I have undergone a surgery few months ago. If it wasn’t the grace and blessing of God, Yi Fen will not be here right now. A liver surgeon told me that he was surprised when the disease I have do not cause big troubles in my life for 18 years as usually children with this disease will have gone for surgery at the young age. Isn’t it so great when there is a God in your life?

To end this, I just want to share with you guys that we will never be satisfied with the life we have now. We will always seeking for more. Why not look for things that more worthy and benefits you the most eternally rather then temporarily?

Lord, do you hear my cry? Do you hear my prayer? My heart is so uncomfortable now, Lord. I know what I should do, but then I choose to not do it. How can my heart be passion onto you once again? How can I fell in love on you again? Is it true that I can’t make decision when I am in stress?  My head is so so painful when I think about it. I really confuse, Lord. Where are you Jesus? Can you strengthen my heart?

唉，现在好没有心情做自己该做的事情！玉芬啊，你怎么搞的阿！为什么你一直让心情来摆布你？我到底想做些什么？出去走走？No。 写作业？No。观赏电影？No。我还有什么可以做的呢？

考试要到了。作业要截止日期了。作业还不止一个要赶着交的呢。

唉！

I do think myself as a selfish person most of the time. I am selfish in a way that I don’t want to lose these relationships/friendships and therefore, I don’t push myself to tell them a precious friend of mine, Jesus. When I look at my friend in a difficult condition, the first thought pop out from my mine is his/her life would be better if he/she knows Jesus.I know all the things I need and I should do, but then I didn’t work it out. It is going to be a challenge for me this year. Another big challenge in this year is commitment. I really pray hard that I will live the most for Jesus this year.

隔了一段时间，我又回到这里来了。这一次要分享的事是关于预测。有时候，当我们在预测某些事情的时候，我们都会做出错误的预测。例如说，你预测自己去每天吃冰淇淋会很开心，吃乳酪会不开心。但是一个星期后，你发现你自己原来吃冰淇淋没有那么的开心，反而越来越爱吃乳酪。 也许你觉得你放下这段感情你回超难过的，但是日子一天一天的过去，你的日子就变得一天比一天开心。也许做出你觉得做了这个手术，身体会有缺陷，但是日子一天一天的过去，生活的品质越来越好。

人永远都没有正确的预测。

痛苦、压力、流泪、孤独、病、矛盾

我真的不知所措。虽然妈妈已经说我可以不要去，但是金钱上的付出让我自己不断的挣扎。

我把钱看得太重了有时候。多希望能拿到refund。

我好想逃避现在。

家太舒服了！

Lord, I pray for wisdom from you.

I am stuck with my lab report.

I do not know how to write the introduction.

Lord, I pray for wisdom from you.

I pray that lord you will give me the wisdom to organize all the bits of pieces of information I got in my brain.

Lord, I pray for your guidance when I type out my report.

I pray for the fluency and other things which are necessary for a good report and

I pray that this report will be better than the first report.

Lord, I pray for a right attitude in facing my daily challenges.

I pray for the attitude that for every single things I do will glorify your name and your kingdom.

Thank you, lord for your love as now I have the opportunity to pray to you of my problems.

No one can help me besides you.

Yes, Lord. There is none like you.

It’s Saturday, but I do not get a chance to have a good rest. I feel like I am going to get sick. Feel tired most of the time and headache. I can’t let myself sick now because there is an assessment next Wednesday and lots of works due on the coming week.

I have just received a message from a friend, Yiyao. It has been sometimes we have not contact each other. This time when she contacted me first, I received a great news from her. We are in family of Christ. She got baptised last Sunday. I am so happy for her. We had been hanging round together for sometimes when we were in college. I have never hear from her about her religion. She knew that I am a Christian and going to church every Sunday. But, she never go to church. But, now, she got baptised. Wow! Amazing!

Ok. stop here and back to work.